New new Blogskin. Previous one's font was really fugly.

I felt like I've really moved onto a new phase of life, thus my beloved fullmetal alchemist one was replaced. I still like it though.

So after some time, I'm back again. It wasnt as long as I thought it would have been, but the whole point of my "hiatus" was so that i could think about stuff. Limiting myself to my own thoughts without expressing them on my blog helped me think more clearly.

Fighting to reach the top, getting there, then giving up the spot for someone else. Something that i have to comprehend.

I'm too human. I get insecure, envious, competitive. Qualities I have to confront.

This journey is self discovery is still ongoing.

And I'm back to my usual blogging style. Only posting about Achievements is really restricting.

Thats right. a-serious-smile.blogspot.com is back in action.

Tell me what you guys think.

I've decided.

I'll probably only use this blog for the major events that happen to me. And currently, since my last post, lotsa stuff have happened.

Now, I'm specifically going to talk about two of them.

1. Buckley House Talentime/ CNY celebrations
2. Parade commanding for NPCC.

Talking about the latter first. Nothing much, except that i finally bothered to do parade commanding for NPCC's parade. Nothing major, but still, worth mentioning.

The former, well, will take more explanation.

Apparently, sleeping over with imba people like Nigel, Leonard and Wei Lun will let you grow a conscience over the remaining seconds of the year.

I first noticed this during the orientation camp. People were slamming Buckley for being 5th like mad, and for some reason i actually cared about having my house being laughed at by the sec 1s.

Next thing i knew, I was spending 6 hours of my Saturday helping out, learning the moves and such. The rest is history, the days spent staying in RI until 9pm etc. Just practice.

So in addition to farmer dance plus hand wushu plus stick wushu, I solo bboyed for the last minute or so of the chinese rendition of..."Check Yes Juliet". There was no bleeding beat for me to hit, so i just went crazy and did my footwork as fast as I could. Guess it didn't look smooth because of that.

I took off my specs for that segment, and like loads of people didn't recognise me. They all went "Eh why you wearing homeclothes lol?" after the performance. For the better or worse, I dunno.

And today, went back to primary school. Met a bunch of guys from 6H 05, and Trevor from 6I. Then just stoned, looked for Peng Lao Shi, had her recognise everyone except me, then was accused of daoing steffi, then hung out for awhile.

Important points from today's CNY celebration:
1. Even without specs, I didn't fall off the stage while breaking, so it was all good.
2. Liang Jie walked me home! Oh god. In my defence, we talked cock on the way back, not...other stuff.
3. I learnt just how appealing NJC's piano ensemble is. JAY CHOU'S THE SECRET SCENES WITH THE DUET PIANO!!!!!!

Next up, apparently I was strongly encouraged to plan a 6H gathering. When I say strongly encouraged, I mean my classmates all going "eh chiap/chen wei, plan lah.". Which is weird, since I dun think my old classmates would remember me. Too invisible, seriously.

So, I'm waiting for Aylwin to send me the 6H class list, then depend on my mood swings to decide whether I want to schedule or not. Guess scheduling stuff is a new thing in my life.

Next update when more important stuff happens. So yes, when I feel I have taken another step in life, I will post. Being enthu for my house was the biggest one this time.

Until then...bye.

In lieu of all the goal setting...

I promise not to return.

Until I am satisfied with myself

Who I am

What I have accomplished

When I have become

A hero of war.

This blog is now on hold. I'll still be responding to tags though. a-serious-smile.blogspot.com is officially on hiatus. Possibly long hiatus.

Strength. Passion. Interest. Potential.

I'll limit break them all.

He will strengthen himself through sacrifice.

See you guys.

You, Said it once
Said it twice,
Said it hurts, but I do it again
I don't change, I don't learn, cause I can't let it end
Said it's gone, let it be, 'cause you don't need a friend
Maybe I do,
I pull and you push and we cry
Till we laugh again I
Promise you, you promise me back and then why
Does it all fall apart in just a matter of time...

Actually this is my 201st post. Man, just how many times did i multiple post in one day?

Anyway, ran 2.4km today. Deprove lah wargh. But then again, I havent properly ran in like more than 6 months, so expected i guess. This March and June must continue the spree!

NPCC meeting, have to contact CIP people tomorrow. Had like 10 mins of breaking. Then wanted to eat my sandwich, but OH NO, lesson started. Asked Mr KN if he would let me eat my flavourless, odourless sandwhich in class, and he said nooooooooo.

For Lit, got Miss EC. It is Miss right? Seriously, whats the big deal. Cmi. I prefer Adrian Chan. Teaching Styles that are fast and furious, to the point is what i like for my lit.

During NPCC, had war games where i sprinted like some madman. Didnt want to catch them, but wanted to watch them flock like panicked chickens. Sprint until abs pain lah. Then when training ended, realised my ankle pain. Daaaaaanng.

Guys from Gilford Grammar coming to class tomorrow. Lets give them a good ol 4B welcome.

4B 4B go.

And apparently Raffles Samba isnt very popular among 4B. Boohoo.

Oh crap, I'm so dead.

On a side note, Bboy Born is awesome. He single-handedly makes Koreans manly. Not that they weren't in the first place.

"You know, breakdancing is just a phase, so don't bother too much with it." During one of my windmill training sessions.

"Are all breakdancers in Singapore people who look ugly and have no social life?" When I mentioned that I would maybe try to go to a Singapore bboying scene.

"NO! Don't! Stop doing that!" After I did a single Indian Step in public.

"That looks pretty gay." At me when I was learning a new move.


My sis is plain supportive. INTENSE.

On a side note, I'm gonna chiong tonight. WAAAAARRGH.

Worked off my emotional stress last night. Worked it off with the streams of sweat and my mom shouting at me that it was too damned late.

Im damn screwed this weekend. Need to find CIP outlets for my NP squad, plus 2 issues of du zhe not read, plus homework, plus OIP reflections.

Yeah right, screw that, I'm gonna break. In both ways.

Mike brings up a good point.

From now on, windmill, flare, or any other moves' progress will be kept to a low minimum, unless i feel high.

To become a real bboy. I need more style, more attitude.

The ghosts of my tracks
Hunt me relentlessly.
Eyes firmly shut
My lips trembling violently,
Wrecked apart
The harrowing darkness
Consumes me further.

The sins of my past
Cling on vicariously.
I want to escape it all.
Jealousy.
Fear.
Insecurity.
Consumes me further.

That brief light is but a single spot.
It’s gone, so fast, already.
Granting me a short momentary respite
Before having me face my inner demons
They surface not only in the night
And that
Consumes me further.

It’s never over.
New cocoons are formed.
But true protection lies within
The one who struggles
Alone.
And this heralds, once again
Never thought would be returning
It.
And so lies the return of
My mask.

On the spot thing.

6 hours of sleep in 2 days leave you feeling pretty exhausted. Maybe its because of that that emotions and dark thoughts come rushing back to me.

Sec 3 was a rollercoaster year. I thought I left the worst of it all behind on the fateful moment when i yelled "Happy New Year". Turns out i didn't.

Sec 3 introduces shitload of problems to you. You spend the rest of your life dealing with them.

"Hell, that was just round 1."

Its all coming back. Everything, but this time. I'm ready.

I've got a closet filled up to the brim with the ghosts of my past and my scattered sins.

Another year. Problems resolved, problems surfaced.

Argh, its like the gods of handstand have a personal vendetta today. Whacked my left hip reaaaaally hard while trying to do the handstand drill that wouldnt cause me any pain. Guess im a failure.

Confidence. It showed a little when I was alone today. Whee. About 2 people should actually understand what I'm mentioning here, it has something to do with something that i mentioned last night. Heh.

Oh, and the spiderman 3 thing has significance...I forgot to mention. During the sleepover, I spent about 10 minutes saying "My spidersense is tingling" with various tones and accents. Yes, I was high.

CONFIDENCE!

All the way.