What Gender Is Your Brain?-->
Your Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male
Your brain leans femaleYou think with your heart, not your headSweet and considerate, you are a giverBut you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

Omg. Somehow im not surprised though...sadly.

*kicks the floor*

Wargh I'm sure I'm sure, my internet is too suck to dl Quest Crew's 2 performances during Week 7. Even using Firefox isnt good enough. ARGH.

But seriously, they owned. I like them slightly over then JabbaWockeeZ now. Damn siiick.

And today marked the first time since the EOYS that I went to the library to mug. Waaa, my brain imploded after a couple of hours, which left me sitting and gazing stupidly at nothing in particular. I need more mental endurancezzz.

I think that the Marine Parade library is pretty noisy compared to the Bishan one. I had to keep my music playing for a fair period of time, due to the inessecent noise generated by teenagers like myself.

Ah crap, I can't even express myself properly. I feel like there's some stupid boulder in my head because I suppressed the urge to break in the library and instead mugged maths.

Oh that reminds me. I need to get up to date on physics too. Waaa.

Which reminds me.

Anyone up for mugging in MP library during Sat afternoons? Hit me up if you wanna chill yo.

Disclaimer: I do not owe you any cash if i mysteriously decide not to mug next week and instead stay at home to sleep.

Hohoho. Oh, and a fun thing to do when you are extremely bored would be to look at people and see if you can find a female/male counterpart to one of your friends. If you are like me, simply edit the game to only look at females, because for me, my female friend database is practically almost nil lol. Today, I saw two females that looked like people I knew. Whee.

Hey hey, it wasn't my fault. You invaded the err area that I was looking at. So if anything, it's your fault for making me look at you!

Yeah whatever, stay sharp man. Focus Chen Wei, focus.

And I just can't stop.....closer.

Quest Crew Week 7 performances were AWESOME. I think they've surpassed even the JabbaWockeeZ.

Hoho, even Mashiro's got more smsing skillz than me lol.

Today I've come to realize a few things.

How far do I want to go in breaking? I'm probably not joining Street Dance in RJ, because I just don't see myself really spending my time in JC learning routines. Anyways, I suck at choreography.

People often ask if i'm joining Street Dance in RJ. I tell them I'm probably not.

How far indeed.

If I take this as a recreational thing, then there's really no need in pushing myself so far...right? But somewhere beneath me, some competitive spirit has been ignited, and I want to become better, to raise my current standard.

And finally, I think I've reached a decision. I think I'm ready. If not, I'll learn on the way.

Its been a long time. And I feel a slight sense of nostalgia.

I want to become a councillor.

Lets hope it ends differently from before.

The odds may be low, but hey, I'm no stranger to that. Lets do it.

Focus.

I don't know whats wrong with me. I mean, i have little time as it is to mug already, yet i signed up for the amazing race thing this saturday which saps away more than 8 hours.

My fitness, bboying has slipped away considerably, and i can feel myself being left behind in the dust.

Focus.

Lets do it.

Omg. Headslides into a foward roll. D trix's one handed push into an air freeze. Backflips.

Siiiick.

Feel the wind in your hair.
Will your wings to spread.

And believe that you can fly.

.......................................

Sigh, I'm just lacking motivation to mug. Never mind, I have decided to threaten myself by putting bboying on hold for a week if i dun mug enough tomorrow. Wargh, I'll probably like break apart or something.

At least i finally got myself to run today. Damn slack lah.

Master Mixes by ABDC (America's Best Dance Crew) are really super catchy. My playlist these days consist of the mastermixes plus Lost Prophets and Flo Rida's "Right Round".

First heard the latter when i was gyming, dumbell reps i think, and then the chorus came on and the instructor went something like "I love this song!" and started doing his reps while rapping the chorus. Awesome atmosphere there lol, even if i get suanned by the supremely manlier guys.

Whatever doesnt kill you can only make you metamorphosize.

At least thats my opinion.


A> You are the most interesting thing that has happened to me in a long time...thank you.

Despite the fire and flames
Despite how messed up you made me
Despite the hole you carved in my heart,

In spite of the rocky ride
In spite of the pain left lingering within me
In spite of the shattered memories that reside in my heart,

I can't bring myself
to guarantee my
Salvation.

...........................................

I tried, but i failed. The opportunity stared me in the eyes until i turned away. Twice. I'm incapable of hurting back.

And so I continue down this road.

Hot damn. Haven't seen a group like that since the JabbaWockeeZ. Awesome.

Aurora

Had we made that mark
That line across bark.
Sadly we laughed it off
Or rather
I ponder laughing it off.

Thought it was crystal
Apparently, you too
Exception.
Your secret sheen
Of unfeeling ice.

And that tip of the iceberg melted
as soon as the yearning sun.
Tired of ignorance in bliss
maybe ignorance in confusion.
Veered its steely gaze.

When the light shone
for a split heartbeat.
I glimpsed the after-image
Of your malice
Before I looked upon your soul.

Aurora.
It certainly was beautiful.

..........................

Guess I'l just do a post now.

Aurora was written during class today, forgot which lesson it was. Which marks the first poem I actually wrote during lessons.

I'm getting much more irritable these days, and i think its been showing in the past week or so. People telling me about my "attitude", or telling me to relax. Well, if i trampled on any of your feelings, im sorry. Unlike some people, I actually care about others.

I don't see why you had to cut me open. I meant you no harm.

Even bboying doesnt seem to be the proper remedy for me now. It helps, sure but not as much as before.

It seems as a rather inseperable part of my personality that I'm slightly pacifistic. For me, slightly means that I try to avoid violence as much as possible, yet i break down sometimes.

I don't really think that I'm the "nice guy". I think im leaning more towards that, but sometimes I really don't know whether to just forsake that and roughen up.

I could kill off that part of me that cries out to be passive. Just as I killed off that part of me that asked me to be a follower last year.

This isn't any bullshit about being nice so that girls will fall for you. Anyway, from what I've seen and experienced, it doesnt work that way.

This is about the kind of person I will be.

So far, when people hurt me, I take it in my stride. Now, i'm seriously reconsidering that. I want to hurt them back.

I wasn't useful to you anymore, but I wasn't a threat to your happiness. So why?

I shall observe. If I continue to remain passive, to keep a constant effort in caring for others and my heart continues to feel constricted, then i know that something is wrong.

And once again, i am standing at a forked road. Except that both paths continually point to each other.

I have a feeling that this year is going to mark yet another big change.

Am I still going to continue keeping my basic instincts buried?

.......................................

I've pretty much abstained from violence, other than that friendly mashing "fight" with xin yong. Yet I feel it boiling.
.......................................

On a side note, I really wish i would be informed about what was happening in CCA. I mean, the only way I found out about the confirmed SI nominations was when Dhivian randomnly brought it up.

This reminds me of the other events that happened in NP this year, but i was always so damned late to find out. I mean come on, I know I'm not part of EXCO, but keep me in the loop can anot? Especially concerning stuff that actually involves me.

Anyways, I predict a good year ahead with the Sec 2s. If only their discipline level would increase. But what I'm doing now is already ramping up their discipline considerably. Looking foward to spending the remainder of this year with them.

.......................................

Running. Then Bboying. Then Gyming. Then cut hair.

Btw, who knows how long the RI field is if you run the long way that encompasses the softball diamond? I need to know how much I ran today. Thanks.

Bboying shows a little progress. I appreciate the suggestions to improve my tops, but it gets slightly irritating after like the 10th guy tells me that I'm too stiff and that my facial expression is weird. I'm working on it guys.

Haha, today Jin Fu got....Super-Poked by that Indian instructor at the gym. Lucky he wasnt pumping a set then.

.......................................

A good leader bonds the group.

A great leader bonds and utilises the group's talents.

Its still a long journey for me.

A whiff of fresh
A flash of light
A slight reprieve
All these mean nothing

As I am the forgotten.

Forget-me-not

When our time ticks to a stop
Have I made a mark?
You did,
That jagged scar running across my chest.

I have no regrets
Yet i was sick.
Left this town
because I was suffocating.

Returning once again
Picking a posy of flowers, unmagnificient
while struggling to rise above.
Clueless, I am.

My mask kept me from drowning.
Yet I willingly keep it on.
While drowning in the crowd.

Clinging onto that posy.
I yell forget-me-not
and throw it to you.

Enduring?
What a joke.

<You ruined me.

Under these very stars we met.

So I guess

it was kind of fitting.

That it was under these same stars

that we walked our seperate ways.


In this very place we met.

And I admit

it was kind of ironic

That it was in this same place

that our bond started to shatter.


Chasing down this very familiar path we met.

Forced as I am, I know

it was kind of sad

That it was at that forked road

I slipped.

And I never saw you again.

I cant believe i fell ill. Didnt mention it yesterday because it was just a couple of sneezes, but by night mutated into rivers of mucus, repeated sneezing spasms and of course the mandatory drowsiness that plundered my attention. Very little work was done last night.

Today was mainly spent recovering, I spent about 2 hours napping in addition to my 10 hours spent sleeping. Woah.

Damn sian, 2nd week into my PT training regime and I fall ill. Guess all the running and dumbell reps have gone to hell.

But on the bright side, I may have figured something MINDBLOWING. Remember me not being popular with girls? During OIP? During normal occasions? During...err my life so far? Well, after taking some genetic photo matching tests, I have found that my results show that 7/10 closest celebrity matches are hot female japanese singers/ actresses! Out of the remaining three, the most interesting was the guy that won sexiest man of the year of 1991 or something. Lmao, it means that my looks would have been a killer had i been born...18 years ago?

But yes, this conclusively shows that i am supposed to attract legions of cheering fans as opposed to groups of cute/hot girls. Amaza-zing what technology can do isnt it?

So I'm good looking, family friendly way.

However, supposedly I'm ugly lol, as colloborated by various opinions over the years.

Yet, I can has recons!

Its about time to ask my 64% genetically compatible twin Ayumi Hamasaki for some of her albums. MUAHAHAHA.

Thanks for the occasion Nigel. Yeah, the monkey was pretty cool. The salsesperson at Mini Toons was really enthu in showing me and Jon Ed the various powers of the monkey, including seat-beltesque usage and that...magic trick where you pull really long colourful thingsesque usage.

Man, that was the worst sentence ever.

The celebration was pretty good, although me, the Fire Lord and Leonard's (Charcoal Lord, second Fire Lord, Satay Lord) combined prowess failed at cooking. My god, I'm a LOSER at cooking. The fanning was pretty cool though.

Had quite a lot of fun talking cock and such.

It was quite funny at Mini Toons when me and Jon Ed went into the shop and told the nice lady that we wanted to buy a gift for a friend's birthday party. Then she asked us whether it was a male or female. When we said male, I could've swore that for a split-second, a confused look flashed across her features.

Now, thinking back about it, I guess two guys going into a lovey-dovey store a day before Valentine's Day intending to buy a gift for a male friend could give the impression that err, we made a major lifestyle choice.

Oh, come on, its not our fault that we have no life...*rushes off to write emo poetry*.

And today is valentine's day! Or as RI wants to call it, Friendship Day! Without the gayness!

Its a pretty nice initiative that the CEC council thought up though. The idea of thanking whoever you want to thank through notes and having them pinned up. Nevertheless, I was not surprised to see the number of "Thanks for Last Night" notes and the witty lamblasting "Thanks for nothing" note by hormonally charged giggling boys and of course our very own Mr funky socio-political views, Red Cross CCAL.

The indian dude at the Gym is pretty eccentric. When you walk by him he sometimes gives you a random poke. Like i got poked in the abs, and apparently xin yong got poked in the arms. Kinda like a "Good job you're here pumping iron, keep up the pseudo buffness!" poke. Hope he doesnt do that when ur working out though.

And yes, I am not going to the RI gymnasium today. Saaad.

Walking down this familiar road.
16th.
And so I say goodbye again.

Heyop. By some amazing miracle, i did not get 0 for maths TA. A glitch in the matrix! Lol.

Hope that i don't get royally screwed by physics quiz tomorrow. I mean, I feel like a huge manly man when I totally own the "Amateur" and "Professional" Question, but i really feel like physics' bitch when they start throwing on the "Pundit" level. I feel like physics' bitchasswhorenoob apprentice. Hoho, bboy physicx. But then again, I paraphrase...something about Star Wars concerning the Rule Of Two, having the Apprentice overthrow the master....

As valentine's day draws ever closer, it's kinda interesting to see people's reactions. Some are complaining about not having valentines, others gleefully looking foward to it, and the final group of people going "meh". I belong to the final class, so my thoughts about valentine's day is that I should drown all thoughts of the day by going to the RI gymnasium and trying to repeatedly practice the more dangerous bboy routines. I don't need no valentines, just give me 5 hours and an empty gymnasium and ima be a happy guy.

Actually, it sounds pretty damn fun and plausible, but I'l probably spend the day at home, mugging to try and keep alive in this year and to fufill my goals. Speaking of goals...my pushup quota hasnt been met over the last few days.

And as I have found out, I'm not in love, but i'm in love with the idea of being in love. As sufyan said, "Brilliant idea isn't it?" All the romantic ideas caused by the supressed female hormones that were triggered through drama serials and reading shoujo manga are trying to flood me now, but I have become more powerful and am now able to completely supress them! Muahaha. Now I can has Recons?

My current situation in NPCC is pretty acceptable I guess. Trying to get the Sec 2s to keep their attendance high, and keeping their spirits high have been kinda difficult, but i find that i kind of meld into the person that I want to be, the person that I want them to respect and obey. I actually feel pretty at ease.

And so I cross this bridge again, looking out for you.
Where did you go?
That girl by the bridge.

Still trying to strike a balance. Its more difficult than I thought it would be.

NPCC stuff, RE, Exercise, Bboying, Writing, Mugging, Sleep.

I'm pretty damned worried about the History Test tomorrow and even more worried about the Physics one on friday.

Now, a problem is that this year, Head NCOs have to do ADMIN. Instead of Head of Admin. Which is really weird, leaving Head NCOs unhappy with more work and Head of Admin unhappy because he doesn't really know what he has to do now.

Uniform has to be worn every week now. Check it to my list of troubles.

First history test of this year tomorrow. I'm gonna power through it, like how the Third Estates wtfpwned the pants off King Louis. Urrgh, King Louis.

I will.

Burn my Dread.

I am determined to rest fully tomorrow. No pushups, no running, no breaking. Alrite, maybe a couple of shuffles and indian steps, but thats all.

My abs complain. My calves complain. I don't complain ahahahah Oh god, im so dumb.

Sec 2s had full attendance today, excluding Brendan who still has medical problems. Hope it doesnt turn out to be worst case scenario.

*Excuses myself*

YEAH SEC 2S GOT FULL ATTENDANCE! YEAAAAAAH.

*Back*

Hoho, im just really happy that I've gotten their attendance back to the daniel-ish era attendance.

And now, homework AND Electropop!

Hey girl what's your name
L-u-v i see your game
It's okay i do it too
Make me want to play a fool

Here boy sign the line
Fools like you don't waste my time
I ain't game to play with you
Are you gonna follow through

Step inside we'll take a ride
Bonnie Clyde you and I
We can do this do or die
Why dont we just take a drive

Sounds gangster I'm gangster
We'll play the town prankster
Using up this bar we play
Then we make our getaway

Electropop hot
Funk addiction when I cant stop

I may be your sweet spot
Take me to your candy shop

Electropop hot
Funk friction when its getting hot

I'm feeling like its getting hot
Come on baby what you got

Electropop hot
Funk addiction when I cant stop

I may be your sweet spot
Take me to your candy shop

Electropop hot
Funk friction when its getting hot

I'm feeling like its getting hot
Come on baby what you got

Damn girl we're moving fast
Its a movie who's the cast
I can be your leading role
Wont you let me take control

Like Juliet I'm femme fatal
Take your pick I'll play them all
Each one to satisfy depending on the type of guy

I'm just a nervous type
Put me in your spotlight
I can talk this all night long
Only if we take it home

Ohhh that is not what I'm about
Men without backing out
That is how I strategize
So hold your breath for the surprise

Electropop hot
Funk addiction when I can't stop

I may be your sweet spot
Take me to your candy shop

Electropop hott
Funk friction when it's getting hot

I'm feeling like its getting hot
Come on baby what you got

Electropop hot
Funk Addiction when I can't stop

I may be your sweet spot
Take me to your candy shop

Electropop
Funk Friction when it's getting hot

Im feeling like its getting hot
Come on baby what you got

Don't want to spend this night alone
Cause your just what I need
I'll lock your digits on my phone
For as much as I tease
I know this affection may be temporary but
Nightlike behavior it is necesary
But for tonight yes we're doing it right
But you got my number if you like what you like

Electropop hot
Funk addiction when I cant stop

I may be your sweet spot
Take me to your candy shop

Electropop hot
Funk friction when its getting hot

Im feeling like its getting hot
Come on baby what you got

Electropop hot
Funk Addiction when its getting hot

I may be your sweet spot
Take me to your candy shop

Electropop
Friction its hot

I'm feeling like its getting hot
Come on baby what you got

P.s. I SO got owned by the stupid H section of the rock wall. Only reached 5th panel.. Trying it or section A on wednesday! Must at least reach 6th!

Alright.

Tues/ Fri/ Sun or Thurs/ Fri/ Sun.

I shall HARDCORE these days every week! Unless i have a damned good reason.

Train.Train.Train.Train.Train.Train.Train.Train.Train.Train.Train.Train.Train.

Now have to balance bboying too with physical training.

Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.Bboying.

Haha see what i did there...i...balanced them....literally.

Argh. Whats wrong with me.

Alright, with this new training regiment and NPCC duties, and schoolwork, and soon to be coming Buckley stuff to do, i have effectively shut off thoughts of chance meetings with cute girls! Yeah!

But err, that doesn't rule out watching tv shows with cute Taiwanese co-hosts, so yes, I'm sticking to that every Saturday if i can, HOHOHO.

Hoho...

Okay, stop feeling sorry for yourself and focus! I'm supposed to have the mindset of a manly Tracker who drinks soya bean milk and eats lo mai kai! GRAAAAH!

Manly Tracker is off to rest and train tomorrow. WAAAAARGH.

Ps, i havent mugged for tests yet, oh no.

At least today marked the start of my exercising. Hope it doesnt end in like a week.

Lunar New Year CIP.

Kip it up. Better, faster.

And I collapse, letting the rain drench my soul.

The good today: I scaled the red level rock wall to the top, touching the top of the rock wall. As such, I finished green, red and I'm going to try the overhead yellow next P.E. Its pretty fun.

The bad: Not getting my SGT rank, having my NPCC CIP screwed, having to confront a possibly really pissed St Theresa's Home, not understanding lessons, realising just how shitty my breaking became after 1 week of no practice.

On the flipside, Ninja Warrior is really pretty awesome. Jap people ftw.

SSGT PT component tomorrow. I'm so damned tired. Lunar New Year CIP on Fri Night.

I still cling on to the tiny hope that I will pass SSGT.

Wargh Chen Wei.

Don't daydream about bboying sets.

Don't daydream about chance meetings with girls.

Don't daydream about having more chances to sleep.

Focus on what you need to do!

To desire:

I'm sorry i held you back. Many a time had I caused you to forgo opportunities, left you in the lurch, betrayed your trust. I ran away, the raw fear pulsating within my veins, the terror that is characteristic of me. Predictable.

Dreaming big is no problem, but taking the actions to achieve them is. So many goals left untouched, some have never seen the light of day, others shelved and forgotten, until a thick layer of dust settles on them; thus removing them. Sometimes permanently.

I am afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of loss.

But i'm learning. As the days go by, my mask cracks slowly, revealing that pale blueish that you have come to associate as my hide. I know its a little too late. But I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

I don't know if you can forgive me. You may very well promise me, but behind my back, cynically question me. You're not to blame. I am.

Forgive me.

Sincerely,
Inhibition.

..........................................................................

I need to make more sacrifices. I wanted to participate more in extra curricular activities, but I'm still in the process of ponying up the price.

Thank god they didn't have the SSGT retest today. With me being so damned tired from yesterday's running and sleeping late, I certainly wouldn't make the 11 minute mark.

Hell, I don't think I can make under 11.00 for the full 5 marks of that segment. 5 Pullups for 5 points should be okay though.

The closest I've ever gotten was 11.30. There's always a first i guess.

Its a very real reality that i may fail the SSGT test. I was at one of my worst forms during the test, especially during the Drill segment, where i lagged and did many commands wrongly. Oh well.

Another thing hanging around at the back of my mind is the Writer's Program. No idea whether I should join or not. Its not THAT intensive i think, but nevertheless, its still another commitment.

No mood for jokes today.