After EOYS, everyone's blog is miraculously reviving themselves. And also, more people are advertising their blogs. I went to sam's blog, saw Johnson from Chiangrai, went to my blog, saw Nigel advertising his blog, went to haozhi's blog, saw jerome advertising his blog, went to anurak's blog, before I was assaulted by Johnson's link again. Amazing.

And just brief updates.

No need to wear back brace anymore yeah yeah!

OIP training.

NPCC national event.

And DoT chapter 11 is taking a hell of a long time to come out. Like no inspiration. Stuck at 2.3k words, and I need to at least double it before releasing the next chapter. Hence, I had previously released a little bit, just to keep whoever who reads it interested haha.

And I have noticed that I had actually been cut deeper than I thought i have. Memories of my past failed leaderships still haunt me deeply, to the extent that I didn't want to take any leadership roles in my OIP to Vietnam. I really need some time to just stay at home and think about what I want to do with my life. In the rest of RI and RJ that is.

Do I want to continue down this path of pain? Continue striving, hoping, dreaming, only to be brought down?

Or do I want to stay safe? Follow, not lead, free of all responsibility?

The usual me would pick the former without hesitation. He will strengthen himself through pain. But how much pain can I take?

Doubts flood my mind. I don't even think that I'm a good leader. I'm not charismatic, confident or able to think on the spot. I can't organise stuff efficiently even. Is it just my fate to follow?

Everytime I break free of the mist of doubt, I discover another. Everytime I break out of the cocoon, ready to start afresh, I discover I am within another cocoon.

I don't know. I need to sort out my life. This stupid thing is ruining my post EOYS happiness, but it couldn't have come at a better time. This is the best time to reflect.

In case you guys are wondering, yeah, the ACCAL thing plays a huge role in my self-doubt, but many other stuff does too. I'm trying to learn, to improve, but there's only so much I can do.

He will achieve enlightenment through sacrifice.

I can only hope that when I reach the end of my journey, I realise that it has been worth it.

On a lighter note, I sorta learned how to do overhead shooting for basketball. Yeaaaaa! But i'm still useless in a real game.

Bball schedule for today: 10-2 bball zz.