Aurora

Had we made that mark
That line across bark.
Sadly we laughed it off
Or rather
I ponder laughing it off.

Thought it was crystal
Apparently, you too
Exception.
Your secret sheen
Of unfeeling ice.

And that tip of the iceberg melted
as soon as the yearning sun.
Tired of ignorance in bliss
maybe ignorance in confusion.
Veered its steely gaze.

When the light shone
for a split heartbeat.
I glimpsed the after-image
Of your malice
Before I looked upon your soul.

Aurora.
It certainly was beautiful.

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Guess I'l just do a post now.

Aurora was written during class today, forgot which lesson it was. Which marks the first poem I actually wrote during lessons.

I'm getting much more irritable these days, and i think its been showing in the past week or so. People telling me about my "attitude", or telling me to relax. Well, if i trampled on any of your feelings, im sorry. Unlike some people, I actually care about others.

I don't see why you had to cut me open. I meant you no harm.

Even bboying doesnt seem to be the proper remedy for me now. It helps, sure but not as much as before.

It seems as a rather inseperable part of my personality that I'm slightly pacifistic. For me, slightly means that I try to avoid violence as much as possible, yet i break down sometimes.

I don't really think that I'm the "nice guy". I think im leaning more towards that, but sometimes I really don't know whether to just forsake that and roughen up.

I could kill off that part of me that cries out to be passive. Just as I killed off that part of me that asked me to be a follower last year.

This isn't any bullshit about being nice so that girls will fall for you. Anyway, from what I've seen and experienced, it doesnt work that way.

This is about the kind of person I will be.

So far, when people hurt me, I take it in my stride. Now, i'm seriously reconsidering that. I want to hurt them back.

I wasn't useful to you anymore, but I wasn't a threat to your happiness. So why?

I shall observe. If I continue to remain passive, to keep a constant effort in caring for others and my heart continues to feel constricted, then i know that something is wrong.

And once again, i am standing at a forked road. Except that both paths continually point to each other.

I have a feeling that this year is going to mark yet another big change.

Am I still going to continue keeping my basic instincts buried?

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I've pretty much abstained from violence, other than that friendly mashing "fight" with xin yong. Yet I feel it boiling.
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On a side note, I really wish i would be informed about what was happening in CCA. I mean, the only way I found out about the confirmed SI nominations was when Dhivian randomnly brought it up.

This reminds me of the other events that happened in NP this year, but i was always so damned late to find out. I mean come on, I know I'm not part of EXCO, but keep me in the loop can anot? Especially concerning stuff that actually involves me.

Anyways, I predict a good year ahead with the Sec 2s. If only their discipline level would increase. But what I'm doing now is already ramping up their discipline considerably. Looking foward to spending the remainder of this year with them.

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Running. Then Bboying. Then Gyming. Then cut hair.

Btw, who knows how long the RI field is if you run the long way that encompasses the softball diamond? I need to know how much I ran today. Thanks.

Bboying shows a little progress. I appreciate the suggestions to improve my tops, but it gets slightly irritating after like the 10th guy tells me that I'm too stiff and that my facial expression is weird. I'm working on it guys.

Haha, today Jin Fu got....Super-Poked by that Indian instructor at the gym. Lucky he wasnt pumping a set then.

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A good leader bonds the group.

A great leader bonds and utilises the group's talents.

Its still a long journey for me.